Anabel Mellado, 28, grew up attending schools belonging to the Legionaries of Christ.She later went to work in public relations for the Altius Foundation, a Legionaries' charity responsible for such programs as the 23 Mano Amiga (Helping Hand) schools, which provide children from impoverished barrios with quality educations.
Mellado saw what she says is the good side of the Legionaries -- "education, integral formation and the apostolic spirit."
"I'm proud of the education I got. It's a great education," she said from the northern Mexican city of Monterrey.
She saw the bad side, too: revelations that the Legionaries' founder, Father Marcial Maciel Degollado, led a double life in violation of church teachings, abused seminarians and fathered several children -- not to mention the discredit his actions brought to the order.
"I was angry, I was disappointed, I was sad," she said of her initial reactions.
Mallado's comments have been among the few made on the record by those affiliated with the Legionaries in Mexico as the order and its lay associate movement, Regnum Christi, prepare for an uncertain future -- a result of the Vatican report that rebuked Father Maciel and called for new outside leadership and a redefinition of the Legionaries' charism.
Representatives of the Legionaries of Christ and of Anahuac University, a Legionaries' school in Mexico City, declined to comment for this story, saying they wanted to "be prudent" in light of the Vatican decision.
Others affiliated with the movement, along with former members, requested anonymity. Opinions varied on the state of the movement, its founder and its future.
"Since I was in kindergarten, I attended Legionaries' schools and I remember that they talked about (Father Maciel) as the perfect example of holiness," said one student who requested anonymity.
"Personally, I felt very disappointed and as if I lived in a complete and perfect lie," said the student, a former Regnum Christi member.
Another former member of Regnum Christi said many current members are appalled by the actions of Father Maciel, but also scared by what making a public condemnation would imply.
"They're trying to convince themselves: 'I didn't waste all my life and do all this for nothing,'" the former consecrated member said.
In contrast, public opinions on the order from the broader Mexican society have been prolific and often unfavorable.
Mexican newspapers have published scandalous headlines throughout 2010. Headline topics have ranged from stories of Father Maciel charming wealthy widows out of their fortunes to speculation that Cardinal Juan Sandoval Iniguez of Guadalajara would lead the order -- a position, he said, "I wouldn't want."
Church and social observers attribute much of the criticism to the sins of Father Maciel, but they cite other factors, too. Those factors include money, anti-clerical attitudes and perceptions of power and undue influence -- no small matters in a country with little social mobility, a history of strained church-state relations and lingering post-revolutionary suspicions of the private sector.
"You have a lot of easy hate ... attached to an elite-centered group favored by the richest and most powerful and also the most conservative Catholics in the country," said Federico Estevez, political science professor at the Autonomous Technological Institute of Mexico.
Criticism of the Legionaries in Mexico dates back decades, although much of it was kept out of the media as news outlets practiced self-censorship and preferred not offend advertisers with ties to the Legionaries.
An example of the consequences of not practicing self-censorship was highlighted in the Mexico City newspaper La Razon, which reported May 11 on how powerful political and business interests, acting at the behest of Father Maciel, lobbied an independent television station owner in 1997 to shelve an unfavorable report on the priest.
Advertisers threatened an advertising boycott of Channel 40, while political operatives, including Liebano Saenz, then-chief of staff to President Ernesto Zedillo, phoned the station owner.
Saenz said he acted alone and out of friendship with Father Maciel, whom he respected for the Legionaries' social and education projects -- which he said produced the kinds of graduates Mexico required and offered opportunities to students at different socio-economic levels.
But Saenz recalls watching the report by journalist Ciro Gomez Leyva in horror.
"It was convincing without any biases," Saenz said.
He subsequently stopped being friends with Father Maciel. Channel 40 lost about $500,000 in advertising revenue, La Razon reported.
Saenz said the Legionaries made no attempts at meddling in the Mexican political system during his time as chief of staff, 1994-2000, nor had any significant presence in the broader political system.
Many Legionaries' observers agree with that assessment -- at least until the Catholic-friendly National Action Party won power in 2000. The observers said they suspect Father Maciel's outsider status helped him win favor in the Vatican and with Pope John Paul II.
"Both (men) came from what they thought were countries subjected to anti-Christian forces," said Jose Barba, professor at the Autonomous Technological Institute of Mexico and an early accuser of Father Maciel for abuse dating back nearly five decades.
Barba also attributed Maciel's success in the church and in less-noble pursuits to charisma.
"He was a master deceiver," Barba said.
"How it was possible that the millenarian wisdom of the church could be deceived so easily by a man that was not really educated that came out of Cotija?" he asked, making reference to Maciel's rural hometown.
What becomes of the Legionaries remains uncertain and, again, opinions vary.
Barba expressed doubts it could be "refounded."
"The Legion has always spoken very clearly since the late 1940s that it was a Christ-centered institution, but in fact ... it was a Maciel-centered institution," he said.
The former consecrated member of Regnum Christi welcomed the Vatican's intervention, saying it would put a focus on serving people instead of maintaining the movement.
"What the pope is going to do is make the necessary changes so the people who join ... actually find the love of God and preach and distribute the love of God instead of suffering, instead of having psychological problems, instead of being abused, instead of being manipulated in their consciences," the former consecrated member said.
Mellado also expressed optimism the Legionaries could recover, although she acknowledged it would be difficult.
"I believe there are a lot of sincere, great people inside the Legion, willing to live our faith with authenticity," she said.
SIC: CNS