Last weekend, myself, a colleague from CW and a qualified specialist undertook a trip to the middle of Ireland to meet with a family who have, for many years, been dealing with the actions of Patrick Buckley against a family member.
This meeting came about as a direct result of Patrick Buckleys death, and many calls, emails and text messages - all filed as evidence with our solicitor - with the agreement of the family and specifically, the member concerned.
We were all aware that this was not going to be an easy conversation, and little did any of us realise how much so - but it was a necessary one.
At this moment in time, we are not going to comment on the allegations, but I would like to offer this piece as more of a reflection than anything else.
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It is almost 2 months since the death of Patrick Buckley was publicised - or indeed not - and we here in CW published the notice the morning of his death.
Shock : this was the initial feeling on our side, and once we published the notice, emails poured in as did telephone calls and text messages - all from people in shock that he had indeed passed. The initial contact was to check if it was true that he haad died, and in the vast majority of cases, despite the initial shock, the joy of his passing was most palpabale.
Denial : over the course of that weekend, the nasty, slanderuous and lies-filled blogspot which Patrick Buckley had published for many years disappeared - as indeed did any and all mention of him on all other social media. It was, in effect, a denial of his existence, and a denial of his bad behaviour and nastiness. Regrettably for those who were / are trying to rehabilitate Patrick Buckley, there are so, so many out here who will ensure that will never be the case - not out of spite, but rather, out of truth.
Anger : and those people who have been most impacted by the words, actions and behaviour of Patrick Buckley down the years have felt cheated by his death and his not facing any consequences. This anger is rightly merited, and is only added to by the interviews given by his supporters who have made many false claims (wonder where they learned such behaviour?) and dared to continue to insult and slander anyone who dared to speak the truth about Patrick Buckley.
Bargaining : this may seem a bit odd in this regard, but in fact, it has become one of the more pertinent feelings in all of this - mainly down to the knowledge that Patrick Buckey IS dead, and all those libelled, slandered, infected etc can now go to bed and get a decent sleep, safe in the knowledge that there is no more to endure. The bargain now is that every day now is a new day, and life is no longer one of living under the dark clouds cast over them, but start to enjoy the sunshine breaking through.
Depression : and this is also a challenge as so, so many had to sit down and take stock of the damage caused by Patrick Buckley in the last few years: damage to friendships, family dynamics, relationships to name just a few of the consequences. All very natural, and heaped upon the depression caused down the years when the blogspot - and Patrick Buckley - were in full force.
Acceptance & Hope : this is the toughest step for so many yet, and those who have reached this point have done so after much soul searching for themselves. We have no choice but to accept that he is dead, but dead he is indeed. We may feel as if he has escaped, but the hope we have should outweigh any lasting regret in that regard.
Processing Grief : is different for each person, and in that regard, we should give time, space and support to each other in all of this.
We here in CW repeat our offer in that we will continue to provide legal and support services to those who wish to avail of such, and remain available to you all.
It is the least we can continue to do.
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AODHÁN DE FAOITE
Eagarthóir / Editor