Asking children to give Confirmation money to the church is perfectly reasonable – and it is also a good opportunity to teach some values.ONCE MORE, bishops and cardinals have hit the headlines.
The consensus so vocally expressed through the usual channels is anger that the hierarchy has not shown sufficient penitence for crimes committed in the past, both distant and recent.
At the same time, industry sources assure me that May, traditionally Christmas for home caterers, has never been busier.
Whatever financial sacrifices people are obliged to make in their lives, trimming back on First Holy Communion and Confirmation celebrations is not one of them.
While the media judges the bling of the working and criminal classes, every family interprets these sacraments as landmarks deserving of a significant celebration.
Looking back on the major social events I’ve attended in the past few years, most of them begin in a church.
Baptisms, weddings, funerals, Communions and Confirmations show that whatever people feel about the failings of the Vatican or individual bishops, their passion for ritual is stronger than ever.
This is completely understandable at the best of times, and in these worst of times, entirely to be expected.
That’s why a report in the Irish Independent on Monday grated.
The article reported that congregations in the diocese of Ardagh and Clonmacnoise have been “shocked” that at recent Confirmation ceremonies, Bishop Colm O’Reilly suggested that children should give some of their Confirmation money towards the rebuilding of St Mel’s Cathedral in Longford.
You might recall it was badly damaged by fire on Christmas Day. One visitor complained that “the entire focus of the sermon seemed to be put on money”.
While I understand there’s no news value in the reality that most parents probably thought this was an entirely appropriate suggestion, it was depressing that when there’s substantial material available to bash the church with, such a gratuitously negative interpretation be placed on the discussion of Confirmation money.
When so much emphasis is put on the cash received by children for their Confirmations and Communions, there is no better place than the church itself to discuss what to do with it. After all, these are new entrants to the religion – engaging with them on a subject so fundamental to all churches seems more like an imperative than an option.
There are five precepts of the church – the five basic practices expected of a Catholic.
The five are: You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation and rest from servile labour; You shall confess your sins at least once a year; You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season; You shall observe the prescribed days of fasting and abstinence established by the church; and finally, you help to provide for the needs of the church – each according to his own ability.
Interestingly, the five pillars of Islam show many similarities, and one fundamental difference. The five duties incumbent on Muslims are Shahadah – the acknowledgment that there is no other God except Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger; Salat – the obligation to pray five times a day; Sawm – fasting on required days and especially during Ramadan; Hajj – the pilgrimage to Mecca, and finally Zakat – the giving of alms to the poor, usually specified at one-fortieth of one’s income.
Directing money towards the poor definitely seems more Christian than providing for the material needs of the church, but I’ve a lot of sympathy with the Catholic position. If families want a church and a priest on the days when it means most to them, then someone has to pay the bills and let the man eat in-between times.
Some priests are more avaricious than others and that turns people off, but if you intend using the church as a backdrop for life’s big events, then you should cough up on a consistent basis.
Bishop O’Reilly is quite entitled to ask for donations. We are all perfectly aware of the significant takings to be made on Communion and Confirmation days.
Maybe some families use the money to pay for the catering; others will buy a new bike or other expensive toy, but directing a small portion of it towards the rebuilding of a beautiful cathedral in which your son or daughter might get married is entirely just.
If you aren’t interested in the church for the rest of the year and feel pressured into the childhood sacraments, this is still the perfect time to engage with the children and discuss the values that you attach to money.
If people really are “shocked” that children are asked to contribute part of their considerable cash takings on the day, does this mean we’re rearing a generation that knows how to receive, but not to give?
If anyone genuinely has a problem with giving to the church, they have alternatives – like the Muslim option.
The day after Communion or Confirmation, they could put their child in the front of the computer and instead of surfing around YouTube they could investigate charity websites like Ammado.com, that enables multiple small donations to different charities.
The child themselves should be involved in deciding a good destination for the cash. It’s what psychologists call a “teachable moment”.
This means you need to think about what values you want to impart to your children.
Is it all about them and all about the money?
Or are the best times in our lives the best times to think of others?
SIC: IT