A gay Catholics group is suggesting NZ's glbt Catholic couples with problems seek assistance away from the Church, including counselors provided by other Christian denominations.The advice follows a Catholic Church statement saying it will not support relationship or parent counseling for same sex couples.
A Church-funded counseling service in the UK first brought the matter to public view by telling a gay Catholics conference that there is no evidence to show that children of the same sex parents it was assisting suffered in any way from their parents sexuality, and that the elements that made for successful child rearing were stable relationships.
In response the UK Church said it could only provide support to relationships where the children have parents of opposite genders who could provide different role models.
That view is mirrored in New Zealand, in a Catholic Bishops Conference statement on the matter which the Ascent gay Catholics group says makes an uncomfortably fine distinction between a couple and two individuals.
"We believe that a mother's love and a father's love are different and complement each other. We would always support the right of the child to experience both," says a spokesperson for the Conference.
"Therefore, it would be inconsistent for the Catholic Church to provide funding for relationship counseling for GLBT parents."
However, the Church also says it would never deny assistance to "an individual in need" on the basis of their gender or sexual orientation.
Roger Swanson of Ascent says it is difficult to see how a reputable Church-funded counselor could provide relationship counseling to only one parent. "They're treading a fine line," he says of the statement.
While he suspects that competent Church-backed counselors might do what they could for the couple "unofficially," Swanson believes glbt Catholic couples would be better off seeking out expert lay counselors or, where the spiritual element of a relationship needs to be recognised, Christian counselors from denominations which are more accepting of homosexuality and same sex relationships.
"Nothing says Catholic individuals or couples have to go to a Catholic counselor. I would advise asking around and using discretion in who people approach," Swanson says, adding that "trust, confidence, expertise and qualifications are very important."
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