My dear friends in Christ, it is with a heavy heart that I write to you all, and I ask you all to read this posting in its entirety.I know that by writing this posting that it is not possible for me to post to CW the usual listing of reports from around the globe, but this is indeed a global matter.
On a few ocassions, I have written here in relation to my private feelings and the committment to ministry required whilst appraising of the emotional, spiritual and other demands made unknowingly of us as priests.
I personally would not walk away from that which I believe God has called me, and for reasons best known to Himself but I trust in His discernment!!
There are indeed times when I take the time to reflect upon my vocation and ministry, and this inevitably leads to my challenging my beliefs, committment and no doubt trying the patience of God.
But it is a necesary process which makes me more pastorally aware and indeed a good kick in the behind to remind myself that I am a human being....which inevtiably brings its own issues...
Today, my beloved in Christ, I was reminded of the words of Christ when visiting a friend of mine who is in a rather difficult situation and it shall remain so for a while. He is in a time of great pain, questioning and weariness with the world and considering it all, it does not surprise me.
However, what has made me sit up is how I feel in relation to dealing with death, and my belief in life.
In this year thus far, I have officiated at the funerals of some very close, dear and personal friends - difficult for all concerned - but on a few ocassions at the ceremonies, I have been close to tears myself, but have held back.
Why?
Because as the priest, it is not the done thing for us to cry or be emotive even at the farewell of someone who has been special to us, but rather we should have stiff upper lip and bring it home with us and do our mourning there - if the opportunity arises for us to do so.
In recent articles carried in Irish media and via CW internationally, the matter of funeral liturgies has been raised, debated and expounded no end, and I personally do not in the least encourage the clinical, standard issue, non-emotive and non-personal ceremony.
It is my belief (no doubt one for which I shall be found out and taken aside) that when such an ocassion arises whereby the ceremony is being planned, ALL issues relative to the ceremony should involve the priest in tandem with the family and relatives of the deceased, and not a solo run by ANY party which will offend someone.
How does this connect with with how I began this posting I hear you ask?
Well, over the last few hours, I have spent time with a very close friend of mine who is of the same age as I, having attended school together and as per usual, falling away from each others lives only to fall back in again a few years later.
My dear friends, he has received some news which has truly shaken him, and I must admit, it has taken the ghost out of meself as well. Sitting with him for the day I have learned more about myself and pastoral skills but most importantly of all I have learned about my dear friend all over again.
We spoke at length about death and the liturgy he would like when his time comes to depart this life, and his requests are so meaningfully simple but personal.
It is him, through and through!!
It is a service of rememberance, of life, of love, of being, of joy, of sadness but most important it is a service of hope.
A service of the true and certain hope of someone who feels that they are only going to sleep until such time s to be awoken by God and comforted in His arms.
My dear friends, it is a ceremony where I have been asked to officiate and no doubt I will have emotions running through me as sure as blood does likewise, but this time who knows where my tears will be.
If there is one thing I ask you all to take from my ramblings, let it be a reflection on life and death...morbid you may say...endearing to God and His assurance of eternal love I say.
In death, do you wish for your final service to be a reflection of your life and your life a reflection of death?
Think about it but be assured of the sure and certain resurrection of all in the bosom of love that is God.
Every blessing on you all
Sotto Voce