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That is how Caroline Hearn describes the journey which campaigners like her have been on.
The Northern Ireland Assembly has passed legislation for a public inquiry and financial redress scheme relating to mother-and-baby institutions.
The secretive institutions for unmarried women and girls, and their children, operated for around seventy years, and were mainly run by religious orders.
Caroline was one of the survivors who watched the final debate of the legislation at Stormont.
She said her experience when she was a teenager had left "a lot of deep scars".
She was 15 when she was taken to Thorndale House, run by the Salvation Army in north Belfast, in 1971.
"You worked from seven o'clock in the morning to seven at night, even though you were pregnant," she said.
"You were treated like the lowest of the low.
"There was no counselling, there was no talking about how you were feeling."
She recalled being "sent out to work" in a factory six weeks after giving birth, at a time when the Troubles was at its height.
"I was almost killed in a bomb. It's on my records that they called me lazy, that I didn't want to work because I didn't want to go back to that place of work," she said.
"When you came home from work, you had to take part in making teddy bears or knitting of crafts which would be sold.
"You handed over your money as well – you didn't have much left for you and your child.
"You were frightened, you were scared – it was a terrifying time."
Caroline is in the group Birth Mothers and Their Children For Justice.
She said: "We can hold our heads up in pride. I spent 54 years with my head down in shame – I have no intention of doing that again."
Another member of the group, Colette Breen was 16 when she became pregnant.
"I ran away from home, and the social worker brought me to Marianville in Belfast."
It was an institution in the south of the city, which was run by the Good Shepherd Sisters.
"You were up at seven o'clock for mass and breakfast, and then you had to do work.
"It was like a prison, you had to follow the rules. I tried to break out, and the police brought me back," she said.
"I was punished – I couldn't read my letters, as the nuns had to read them first.
"I couldn't have phone calls."
She said she was sent to a maternity unit in a taxi on her own to give birth.
"The whole thing was a secret, and it was very lonely.
"I never told anybody about it until about seven years ago."
Now 72, said she had been treated for mental health problems since she was 21 as a result of her suffering.
Colette Cassidy's birth mother was also in Marianville.
She said she found out she was adopted when she was in primary school, and "another girl told me in class".
"Even though I had a very good upbringing, there's always been a bit missing. I've never felt I fitted in anywhere."
She found out who her birth mother was last year, with the help of the group – after searching since 1993.
"Colette (Breen) went with me to her grave when I found out where she was buried.
"It was slight closure, in a way."
In relation to the passage of the legislation, she said: "Thank God we have some justice.
"There's so much that needs to be done – so much has been covered up, and so many wrongs done by the Catholic and Protestant churches. They have to be held accountable."
Redress scheme
The bill has set up a redress scheme, under which any mother or child who spent time in an institution will be entitled to a standard payment of £12000.
£2000 will be paid to the family members of mothers and children who have died since 28 April 1953.
The devolved government estimates the scheme will receive around 10,000 applications, with payments totalling £90m.
It is understood the public inquiry is expected to last around three years and will cost around £14m.
The inquiry will further investigate the issues raised in a report due to be published soon, by the Truth Recovery Independent Panel.
It was commissioned to gather evidence in a non-confrontational setting.
The work to design the investigatory process began after research by university academics in 2021.
It found that more than ten thousand women and girls spent time in the institutions, and that a number of them had become pregnant as the result of sexual crime.
First Minister Michelle O'Neill said the institutions were "built on the foundations of systemic misogyny".
"Within their walls, women and girls were stripped of dignity, silenced and shamed.
"This legislation is another step towards putting that right through truth, acknowledgement and redress."
Deputy First Minister Emma Little-Pengelly said: "While legislation alone cannot undo the suffering endured across all parts of our society, we hope this marks the beginning of a new phase."
'We should be transparent'
The Salvation Army said: "We ran mother and baby homes with the intention of caring for vulnerable women and children but testimonies like these show that there were people in our care whom we let down and for that we are profoundly sorry.
"We are deeply saddened to hear of the traumatic experiences that some people endured in the care of The Salvation Army many decades ago; the hurt of which they still carry.
"We welcome the various processes and inquiries underway to understand more about how women and their children were treated in Mother and Baby Homes.
"It is right that we should be transparent about the times in our past when we failed to provide the support and care that people needed and deserved."
The Good Shepherd Sisters have previously said they would offer the investigation their "fullest cooperation" and they regretted they "could not and did not always meet the multi-faceted needs of these women".