During a Graduation Mass on 10 October for Accord Marriage Facilitators, and Accord Marriage Counsellors, Bishop Nulty asked the Church agency if there is enough being pastorally done to support couples in their first five years of sacramental marriage.
Speaking during the Mass in the historic College Chapel of in Saint Patrick’s College, Maynooth, Bishop Nulty said that experience shows that the early years of marriage can bring significant challenges to couples and their families, and he called on Accord, across its three companies on the island of Ireland, to consider how it can better accompany couples during this decisive time.
Bishop Nulty noted that, at the recent meeting of the Irish Bishops’ Council for Marriage and the Family, the experiences of couples in the early years of marriage were discussed, highlighting the need for particular attention and support.
“The birth of a child can have a profound effect on a couple,” Bishop Nulty said. “The stresses of working long hours, to qualify for a mortgage, or to begin the early years of paying it off. Getting used to being a couple and leaving behind the single, unattached life, can present its own challenges.”
He said Accord needs to examine how it could respond more fully to these experiences, recognising that its work should extend beyond preparing couples for the sacrament of marriage and providing counselling when relationships encounter difficulties.
Acknowledging Accord’s established work in sacramental marriage preparation, Bishop Nulty noted that its revised programme remained a legacy of the World Meeting of Families hosted in Ireland eight years ago. He also welcomed a tentative increase in demand for the organisation’s counselling service.
However, Bishop Nulty emphasised that the measure of success should be the timely support couples receive rather than the length of waiting lists saying, “Our counselling service is showing a tentative increase in demand, and this is welcome. Waiting lists are no gauge for success; couples being accompanied in a timely manner is.”
Bishop Nulty then posed a direct question to Accord as an agency of the Church saying, “But what are we doing for those in their first five years? For those who have completed their marriage Preparation Programme; for those who do not feel the need of a couple therapist?”
Bishop Nulty’s challenge comes as bishops, family experts and representatives from around the world gather in Rome this week to mark ten years of Pope Francis’ exhortation Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love).
The President of the Irish Catholic Bishops’ Conference, Archbishop Eamon Martin, is representing the Irish Church at this global gathering of local Church leaders. The week-long programme, entitled Ten Years after Amoris Laetitia: proclaiming the Gospel with families today, is considering the theme ‘Married Life: The first years of marriage: a decisive time’.
Reflecting on the changing realities facing families since 2016, Bishop Nulty highlighted the continuing impact of the Covid-19 pandemic, the expansion of social media, the challenges posed by artificial intelligence, wars and displacement, migration, declining demand for sacramental marriage and falling fertility rates.
The Bishop of Kildare & Leighlin also pointed to the pressures of housing and economic uncertainty on young couples seeking to establish a home and start a family, noting that these circumstances make the Church’s ministry of accompaniment increasingly important.
Quoting Pope Leo’s call to listen to families, Bishop Nulty said, “This ministry also places us in a school of listening … the Lord himself patiently teaches us when we take time to listen, and we certainly have much to learn from families.” He described Accord as being well placed to lead in this work, encouraging the organisation to find renewed ways of accompanying couples and families through the joys, struggles and uncertainties of married life.
“Training with Accord, working now in the three companies across the island, is a calling that has to be deeper than that of the therapist with the brass plaque on the high street,” he said. “We are there for the long haul.”
The Mass celebrated the work of Accord and in particular eleven graduates receiving a ‘Special Purpose Award ‘in Marriage Education and fourteen receiving a ‘Certificate in Person Centred Marriage and Relationship Counselling’. Bishop Nulty congratulated the graduates, highlighting the compassion and care required in their work with couples and families, and welcomed the fresh energy that they will bring to Accord’s mission to support marriage and families.