Once upon a time, a bride-to-be confided her hopes and thoughts on
her upcoming marriage to only a few — her sister, a best friend, perhaps
only to her diary.
Today, thanks in part to Pope Benedict’s continuous call for both lay
people and the Church to use social media to evangelize and spread the
Gospel message, on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops web
site, www.foryourmarriage.org, a young couple blogs about their courtship, their engagement and their preparation for Catholic marriage.
Sara Carlson, 24, and Justin Kraft, 35, have just started to blog. In
fact as of March 7, their second post was up on the site. Their blog is
entitled, “Learning to Say I Do.” The couple met three years ago
through a Kansas City-St. Joseph diocesan Young Adult Ministry “City on A
Hill” retreat, and plan to marry June 25 at St. Francis Xavier Church
in St. Joseph.
Sara grew up in a small town in the Iowa corn belt, and graduated
from Northwest Missouri State University in Maryville with a double
degree in Business Management and Marketing. During a summer internship
in public relations at the amusement park, Worlds of Fun, Sara fell in
love with “the hustle and bustle” of Kansas City, and moved here after
graduation.
She had been active in the Newman Center at NW Missouri
State, which led her to work for the church, taking the job as
communications coordinator for St. Charles Borromeo Parish.
Justin, a native of South Dakota, served as a Fellowship of Catholic
University Students, FOCUS, missionary for four years, before obtaining
his doctorate from the University of Alabama. He now teaches exercise
science at Missouri Western University in St. Joseph, and serves as
faculty advisor for the university’s Newman Center.
The couple is going through the diocesan marriage preparation, in
addition to full-time jobs, wedding planning and phone calls to each
other every night at 9 p.m.
“Learning to put together a budget for two,” Justin said, “make
decisions that aren’t just good for me but good for us, and deal with
issues that are a part of marriage, hey, this is everyday life. I’m
trying to start valuing my time with Sara as I will when we’re married.
And we learn to make accommodations. But I’m gaining more than I’m
giving up.”
Sara nodded. “Engagement is so hard,” she said. “But I know that at the end of the day, we will be married.”
Learning to budget for two led to Sara and Justin becoming bloggers.
“I had been following (another) Sarah on the foryourmarriage.org web
site,” Sara said, “following her marriage, pregnancy and the birth of
her son. I learned she was quitting the blog and we began talking about
bringing in some extra income about the same time. I contacted Sarah,
and she connected me with the U.S. Bishops and, well, Justin and I are
starting our blog.”
Sara pointed out that there is a difference in preparing for marriage
and preparing for the wedding. Marriage prep can be difficult, “but
I’ve learned a lot,” Justin said. “I’ve discovered new things about
Sara, and that keeps it exciting!”
And blogging about the next six months will keep this time evergreen.
The web site is part of the U.S. Bishops’ National Pastoral
Initiative for Marriage, a multi-year project aimed at communicating the
meaning and value of marriage and married life for the Church and
society.
Initiated at the end of 2004, the project is now in the final
year of its implementation phase.
Through printed and online materials,
social media, including Facebook and the “Learning to Say I Do” blog,
the bishops hope to promote, strengthen, sustain and even restore
marriages; to build a culture of marriage.
Some of the goals of NPIM
include showing a pastoral concern for strengthening marriage in all its
stages and circumstances through listening to the experiences of the
Christian faithful and stimulating a stronger witness by couples
themselves to the value of marriage.
Sara and Justin will share their
experiences, thoughts and revelations on marriage through the blog.
“What’s really neat is that Justin and I try to live purposeful
lives,” Sara said. “We’ve all heard the Gospel message about being light
for the rest of the world. It’s humbling when you’re given an
opportunity to live that call on a large scale.”
Sara was surprised at how many of her friends and acquaintances had
already seen the first post, which was up March 1. “I heard a lot of
comments at Reservoir (a City on a Hill monthly prayer service) on March
3. It was astonishing to see the people who have seen it and read it!”
Justin smiled. “Sara uses social media, like the blog, to
evangelize,” he said with a chuckle.
“She posted it on my Facebook page!
And she tells everyone I’m quality control.” Sara added that she
continues to reflect on Pope Benedict’s words — “how can I be a sign of
Christ’s love both in my face-to-face relationships, and in my online
relationships.”
Justin turned serious. “If a young man came to me and asked me how
did I feel about giving up my freedom for the commitment of marriage, I
would tell him, there is freedom in that commitment. Once I took the
step to commit to Sara, I found there is a lot of freedom in not just
living for myself.”
Sara agreed. “There is a big freedom in being constant, in joyfully
anticipating the commitment of marriage. Facing each day that God has
put before you can be freeing in itself.”
Justin and Sara urge friends, family and even strangers to join them
as they prepare for marriage. “Read about the advice we’ve received from
well meaning people, the Marriage Preparation program, even my horrible
wedding dress shopping experience! I hope we touch whoever God wants us
to touch in whatever way God allows us to,” Sara said.
Sara and Justin will continue to blog for six months “so we’ll have
about a month after the wedding to wrap up our wedding and honeymoon
experiences.”
By following the blog, Justin said, “I hope that people will see that
preparing for marriage is full of ups and downs and wonderfuls!”