ARCHBISHOP Diarmuid Martin's brother, Seamus, has just written a book in which he says his brother doesn't deserve to be called "doctor", and was an avid bus-spotter.
But its contents seem likely to land him in hot water legally.
He may be the former Vatican high-flyer who was sent back home from Rome to save the Catholic Church in Ireland from ruin -- but to his older brother Seamus, he is still a nerdy kid who got a lucky break by joining the priesthood and isn't actually qualified as a "doctor" of divinity.
The book has raised a few eyebrows not only among his former colleagues in the Irish Times but also at the Archbishop's palace.
Throughout, there still appears to be a certain amount of edginess that wouldn't be out of place in a dialogue between television's most famous sibling rivals, Frasier and Niles Crane of the sitcom Frasier.
Seamus recalls that Diarmuid was a boy who "had no interest in football" and was a bit of an anorak.
Seamus and his pals would be out playing footie, while, "at home ... there were elaborate motor races in which mother's clothes pegs were used as cars and in the backyard Diarmuid's fascination with the bus routes of Dublin was indulged. He knew the number and destinations of all the buses in Dublin and drove them round the yard in his imagination ... "
Not only was Diarmuid apparently a bus-spotter, he was also a little tight-fisted as a child.
Diarmuid would "always know exactly how much money he had in his pocket," writes Seamus, "while I would never have the faintest idea".
After school, there was not enough money for Seamus to go to university, but Diarmuid did go to college.
The book states: "My brother would not have made it to university if he had not entered the church."
Seamus goes on to pour a dose of cold water on his brother's academic achievements: "As it turned out, he took his primary degree at UCD and was then sent to study theology at the Angelicum University in Rome, run by the Dominican order. He completed his doctorate in moral theology but never got round to doing the public defence of his thesis that is part of the continental system."
"He is probably not entitled, therefore, to be described as Dr Martin, but Irish newspapers insist that all bishops are automatically 'doctored'."
A spokeswoman for the Archdiocese said, "We won't be taking issue with Seamus."
Even before Clerical Whispers had bought its copy of Good Times and Bad (Mercier Press, €19.99), we were advised that one of Seamus's former colleagues was likely to sue in the wake of the book's publication.
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