It is hard to imagine anything worse than losing a young child.Yet in the same hospital, on the same day two families were told that their children, a girl and a boy, both aged five, had the same condition and would not survive the year.
On that day the parents embraced and from then on supported one another through the difficult months.
Rachel passed away five months later and Eoin passed after 11 months.
Earlier this month these parents Sharon Vard and Anna Coen-McGroddy were among a core group of eight parents who launched Anam Cara, a support group for bereaved parents and siblings.
“The inspiration behind Anam Cara came from the children who cannot be with us tonight. If you look around the room you will see their tribute boards. It is they who have given us, their parents, the courage to set up Anam Cara. I truly believe Anam Cara is their legacy and will ensure their memory lives on,” said Sharon Vard, at the launch.
Having been through the experience of losing a child and run the gauntlet of well meaning but often inappropriate comments from people who want to help but find it difficult, Sharon, Anna and the group set up the group as a sort of sanctuary where parents can just be with people who understand.
Speaking of the initial gatherings of Anam Cara Sharon Vard said: “Each one of us had a deep understanding of the devastation, loss and loneliness the others felt. We were all on the same path, some a little further on than others. We were all grieving in our own way. The comfort we drew from each other knowing we were not alone in our pain, helped us face another day, make a difficult decision or go somewhere that held sad or painful memories for us.”
Taoiseach Bertie Ahern officially launched Anam Cara at Dublin Castle.
The group has a website www.anamcara.ie as a contact point with useful links and dates of events and meetings.
The group is open to relatives of children who have passed away whether from illness, accidents, drug abuse or suicide.
Anam Cara offers family members ranging from grandparents to siblings of all ages, the opportunity to celebrate the children they have lost.
Services offered to bereaved families include: the website, self-help suggestions from other bereaved families, opportunities to talk with other families, local meetings, social events, practical information, links to professional bodies and support agencies, and opportunities to pay tribute to and celebrate the life of the child.
Anam Cara has eight satellite groups dotted around the country and hopes to set up more as well as developing a website for siblings.
Approximately 1,700 families lost a child in 2006 and 10,000 families over the last five years.SOTTO VOCE: Clerical Whispers now has a link placed hereupon to Anam Cara which is listed under the sidebar heading of Irish Awareness and Support Services...and we offer every blessing and best wish to Anam Cara...
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Sotto Voce