If anyone knows what it is like to be a gay adopter of a child, it's the Rev Martin Reynolds. He's gay, in a long-term partnership ... and an ordained clergyman of the Anglican church in Wales. And for the last 15 years, he has been fostering a boy with severe behavioural difficulties.Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, knows all about him too: he used to live next door when he was Archbishop of Wales. The boy played with his children. He knows that gay couples can provide a loving home for disadvantaged and at-risk children.
Yet on Tuesday he wrote to the government demanding that religious adoption agencies should not have their consciences challenged by being required to consider gay couples as adopters.
The letter followed a threat by Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, leader of the Roman Catholic church in England and Wales, to withdraw its seven agencies from adoption rather than consider the move. Pressing on Archbishop Williams's mind will be the knowledge that in a fortnight he has a meeting in Tanzania with Anglican church leaders from around the world, some of whom believe homosexuality is evil and gay people are worse than beasts, and he cannot afford to offer them any hostages to fortune if he is to hold the worldwide communion together.
Mr Reynolds said yesterday: "Rowan must know that the Church of England's own adoption society welcomes gay people. It has done for eight years. In our case we were the first gay couple in Wales to be allowed to foster our boy by Barnardo's.
"The Catholic church has allowed it elsewhere. Cardinal Levada, who's become the Vatican's doctrinal enforcer, when he was Archbishop of San Francisco allowed at least three children from Catholic agencies to be placed with gay couples."
Mr Reynolds and his partner Chris, a hairdresser, have lived together for 27 years. They were first asked to foster the boy when he was four and Barnardo's could not find another home for him because he was so disruptive. The boy is now 19. When the couple took him in he was filthy and had only one set of clothes. He had severe learning difficulties and very severe behavioural problems. They had to sit with him all night in case he damaged himself. The first hour he was in their house, he smashed 16 things.
The couple fostered the boy for 100 days a year initially and for the last five years have fostered him full-time. Next autumn he has a place in college.
Mr Reynolds said: "There are thousands of kids out there and I would not want to see one of them being denied a home with a family, but I also would not want to see them being denied a home if there was a suitable gay family who could take them. One person can make all the difference if they are suitable - that's how vital it is and the church should not knock out one section of people before they even look. Kids just need a good parent.
"You can't make kids gay. What they need is a loving home to move into. It's about children having the right place, so that the maximum number can have a chance in life."
Recently Mr Reynolds tried an experiment. He rang a Catholic agency and, posing as an atheist, asked whether he might be considered for fostering. He was told there would be no problem with that. Later he rang back and admitted he was gay and that placed him beyond the pale.
He said: "We're talking tiny numbers here. Adoption is a very expensive business. The Catholic agencies place 200 children a year and it costs them £10m. That's a lot of money per child. Their agencies have a fantastic reputation for aftercare. It's very specialist work. I think if they were closed down, the government would just take them over, or the social workers would move on to other agencies."
Yesterday, Mr Reynolds was accompanying the boy to hospital for medical tests. He said: "I think what we have given him has been a place to be angry and safe. We are proud of our boy. Now he has a real chance to live an independent life in the community. If you had asked us then we would not have wanted to take him in, but now we say we would not have missed it. It has been a most wonderful transformation of our lives."
Archbishop Williams seems to be learning from his RC counterpart...how to speak out of your mouth from both corners!!!
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