MANY children from broken homes are born "losers" and so deprived of
love that they grow up to be dysfunctional adults, according to a
Catholic bishop.
Bishop of Elphin Christopher Jones
said that during his 17 years working in social services in Sligo he
had seen the damage wrought on children as a result of marriage
breakdown.
The bishop, who is president of the Catholic
marriage care service Accord, stressed that he was not criticising
single parents, many of whom were making "heroic efforts".
But he insisted that "the greatest good" would "come ultimately from the family in marriage".
Speaking
to the Irish Independent last Monday, Bishop Jones said the breakdown
of married life could result in social unrest and even violence.
He
said the risk to society from the disintegration of family life was not
simply the church's view but was backed by extensive social research.
He
acknowledged that some marriages broke down "for unavoidable reasons"
and that in those cases, "compassion ought to be our overriding
response".
The bishop said that during his time in social
services, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, he worked closely with
families who, for the first time, found themselves isolated on newly
built estates, without the support of their wider family circle.
"The
husband was away all day and the mother was left with the children," he
said. In many cases he saw, children were born into a family that was
not secure and they were denied love at an early stage.
"Many
of them were born losers. They had no start in life in terms of a
loving relationship," he said, adding that in his experience, children
who were denied love at an early age were "denied a sense of
self-esteem and self-worth".
"They grow up disturbed and dysfunctional," he added.
"When
a culture of marriage weakens, an ever-growing number of children will
never experience the inestimable value of being raised by a loving,
married mother and father," he said.
"This is not to say
that children cannot thrive outside of the marital family but if we
really value childhood, then we must do what we can to try and ensure
that children are raised by the fathers and mothers who bring them
into the world."
Equality
Bishop Jones
stressed that it should not be left to church leaders alone to promote
the preservation of family life and called on politicians to do more.
Speaking after 5,000 people marched in favour of marriage
equality for same sex marriage, Bishop Jones said that giving same-sex
marriage the same status would "undermine marriage in my view".
He
said in the eyes of the Catholic Church, same-sex cohabitation was not
marriage and it "never" could be. "Marriage is life-giving and between
a man and woman," he said.
Since 2008, Accord has seen a
year-on-year increase in the demand for marriage/relationship
counselling, with 43,627 hours provided last year -- the highest
figure on record.