A San Diego man’s Catholic funeral was moved from a church in Little Italy to a cemetery across town this week after a priest objected because the man was gay.
For some, the situation evoked a 2005 incident when San Diego Bishop Robert Brom denied gay nightclub owner John McCusker a Catholic funeral, leading to a protest from the gay community and a subsequent apology from Brom.
Tuesday, the Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego said in a statement that the funeral Mass for 70-year-old John Sanfilippo — who owned SRO Lounge, a gay hangout in Bankers Hill
— “may take place.”
The statement, from Chancellor Rodrigo Valdivia,
said the person objecting to the initial funeral arrangements was “a
visiting priest substituting during the pastor’s vacation” and “not
familiar with local practice.”
The funeral was scheduled at Our Lady of the Rosary
in Little Italy, where Sanfilippo was raised in a family of fishermen.
It will now occur Thursday morning at Holy Cross Cemetery and Mausoleum.
Sanfilippo died Friday.
The refusal to hold a Mass at Our Lady of the Rosary prompted a small group of gay Catholics
to gather outside the church Monday night to say the rosary and leave a
note for the diocese seeking a clear policy on funeral Masses and last
rites for Catholics who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.
Among those six or eight people were Nicole Murray Ramirez, a member
of the San Diego Human Relations Commission, and Tom Kirkman, former
president of Dignity/San Diego, the local chapter of a national advocacy
group for gay Catholics.
“The church should make a statement and issue that statement to all
parishes that to make a knee-jerk reaction to reject a person’s funeral
just because that person is gay is not appropriate,” Kirkman said.
It’s unclear how frequently funerals are denied to Catholics on any basis, let alone sexuality.
In 2002, mafia boss John Gotti became the highest-profile example of
anyone being denied a Mass and Catholic burial after his life of crime.
In 1985, Gotti’s predecessor in the Gambino crime family, Paul Castellano, was similarly denied, but his family received permission for a private Mass after his burial.
In 2005, Valdivia said he couldn’t recall any examples of the San
Diego diocese denying funeral rites to Catholics in past years. Tuesday,
he did not answer a question about the diocese’s practice of last rites
and Masses for gays.
Sanfilippo’s longtime partner and family members could not be reached.
Sanfilippo’s restaurant career began in 1963 at Cutrie Grill, where
he was a cook. The eatery later became Lafonda, where he bartended. He
owned The Press Room in downtown San Diego from 1972 to 1983, the year
he opened SRO Lounge.
“I met him decades ago,” Ramirez said. “To be real honest, he was
everything a Christian should be. He was very giving. He had many, many
friends. A lot of business people in any community don’t give back; they
kind of just run with the money. But he could never say no.”