The bishop of Ardagh and Clonmacnois, Dr Colm O’Reilly, has moved to clarify Church rules about music and other practices at funerals. A series of leaflets issued in individual parishes recently criticising common funeral practices such as the singing of secular songs, the shaking of mourners’ hands at Mass and the bringing to the altar of personal effects and sports emblems, has generated controversy in the media, including on RTE’s ‘Liveline’ programme.
Among those who went public in the controversy was popular jazz musician Paddy Cole who said he was not allowed play at his mother's funeral Mass.
Bishop O’Reilly said he believed each case should be examined at an individual level and added that “rules are sometimes dangerous things”.
“Sometimes the bereaved want the departed to be remembered in an unsuitable way, but this is usually sorted out through consultation with their priest” he said.
He said one rule which was common in many churches was that ‘goodbye’ songs have been deemed unsuitable at funerals.
“Goodbye songs do not fit with the Catholic faith’s idea of eternal life, so we request that faith centred songs are used during the Mass instead” the bishop pointed out.
“However if a bereaved person wished to play a more popular song, such as the departed person’s favourite tune, they can do so after the priest has completed the ceremony of Mass”, he added.
Dr O’Reilly said that in some parts of the country – but not in his own diocese - eulogies have been removed from funerals.
“Like the personal songs, we request that the bereaved wait until after the Mass ceremony is over and then they can speak of their loved one in the church”.
The bishop said he had no objection to mourners shaking hands with the family of the deceased within the church.
“I think it’s more practical for people to shake hands with the bereaved in the church than in the car park as it would only make it more difficult to bring the coffin to the hearse”, he remarked.
The bishop said priests were sensitive to the needs of the bereaved and always try to get a consensus about what should happen during the funeral.
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