As Bridget Mary Meehan sees it, her calling to the priesthood is not simply a matter between her and God.It's a natural progression from her deep involvement in the church community from her youngest days.
And she does not see the fact that she is a woman and a Roman Catholic as being at odds with her call to the priesthood.
Meehan is one of 12 American women who were ordained as priests and deacons in a ceremony last July at the confluence of the Ohio, Monongahela and Allegheny rivers in Pittsburgh, aboard the riverboat Majestic.
Their ordination is a violation of Canon Law 1024 of the Roman Catholic Church, which says that only baptized men validly receive ordination.
But while the punishment for ecclesial disobedience is excommunication from the Catholic Church, nearly nine months have passed and no parchment document with calligraphy has yet been delivered to Meehan's homes in Sarasota or Northern Virginia.
The women were ordained by three female bishops from Europe, who, in turn, had been secretly ordained by two male bishops, two Roman Catholic priests and female pastors from the Old Catholic, Lutheran and Dutch Reformed churches.
The ordination of women in the church is not new.
Leaders in the early Christian church -- Mary Magdalene, Phoebe, Junia -- were followed by a scattering of female priests and bishops, as indicated by frescoes and tombstones uncovered in Rome, Southern Italy and Northern Africa.
For Meehan, the time for full inclusion of women has come again.
'A Very Devout Roman Catholic Family'
Meehan, a tiny woman with bright blue eyes, a fluff of blond hair and a seemingly perpetual smile, was born in County Laois, Ireland, in 1948; she immigrated to the United States with her parents and two brothers in 1956, where the family settled in Northern Virginia.
She attended Catholic schools and at age 18 entered the Immaculate Heart of Mary Sisters religious community. She studied at Catholic University and earned her doctor of ministry degree from Virginia Episcopal Seminary in 1987.
"We were a very devout -- are a very devout -- Roman Catholic family and have been dedicated to, you know, loving God and the whole Catholic heritage," she said recently at the mobile home off Fruitville Road she shares with her father, Jack, for six months of the year.
"Our Catholic heritage is very precious to us from our earliest days. In Ireland, my mother led the evening rosary; that was the final coming-together of our family around the hearth. We knelt and said the rosary together, and I'd often go and have a little conversation with God after that, before I went to bed."
Early on, Meehan was inspired by St. Brigit of Kildare and the Celtic church."The Celtic church was a very egalitarian church," she said. "Women and men presided at the Eucharist. Brigit presided at a double monastery. They had married and celibate (people) in this monastery, so it was like a Christian village, but it was a very monastic kind of church."
The idea of community, and of serving the Christian community as an ordained priest, began to percolate in Meehan's head while she worked as a pastoral associate at Fort Myer Chapel in Arlington, Va. There, she served the military chaplaincy community of various faiths.
"Oh! That was brand new to me," said Meehan, who found that working with chaplains from many faiths challenged, and clarified, her beliefs."Every time I get comfortable, I always get called out of my comfort zone," she said. "That has been God's continual pattern for me."
Because the chaplains at Fort Myer had many duties, Meehan often was asked to preside at Communion services. Although she took pains to tell worshippers that the service she was conducting was not Mass, "They would leave saying, 'Sister, that was a lovely Mass; thank you very much.' That actually sowed the seed of, 'Gosh, I wish I were a priest! I could do the whole thing. I could really partner with these guys and celebrate Mass,'" she said.
She also worked with engaged couples with a marriage ministry team but was unable to officiate at their weddings."They would choose you to do their wedding if they could because you've been the pastoral presence," she said. "The priest comes in at the last second, the last minute, to do the sacramental moment. To me, it made less and less sense."
When Meehan learned of the Roman Catholic Womenpriests movement, she saw her opportunity. In 2002, seven European women were ordained in a ceremony on the Danube River. They were quickly excommunicated by Pope John Paul II. Secret ordinations by male bishops in good standing in the church followed. More women were ordained as priests and bishops in Europe and in Canada.
And last July, it was Meehan's turn.
"It was one of those moments when you felt God's presence permeating you, surrounding you, and upon you," she said.
But of equal significance to Meehan was the tremendous sense of community, in which the 400 people present at the ceremony laid hands on them.
"Ordination is service within a community of equals," said Meehan. "The sense was powerful that you belong, you are called forth and you belong to us. We are choosing you and we are empowering you to serve us. It was a great sense of belonging to the people of God in a way that touched your very soul."
Bishop Patricia Fresen is the Womenpriests program coordinator and one of the women ordained in 2002. She served as mentor in Meehan's yearlong preparation for the priesthood."She is a woman of deep faith, joy and strong convictions," Fresen said in an e-mail message from Germany. "Her call to priesthood became evident in her compassion and her pastoral outreach."
Meehan is also, in Fresen's opinion, "probably the best theologian among us ... There are other womenpriests, apart from Bridget Mary, who have a doctorate in theology (Meehan's doctorate is in ministry). However, in my opinion, Bridget Mary is our leading RCWP theologian and we are proud and blessed to have her as one of our R.C. Womenpriests."
Meehan has a long list of theological books to her credit, including the best-selling "The Healing Power of Prayer" and "Exploring the Feminine Face of God."
'House Church' Services
Since her ordination, Meehan has conducted "house church" Masses on Saturday evenings at her Sarasota home. The butler coffee table, spread with a tie-dyed silk scarf, becomes an altar; for special occasions she dons vestments, but usually she wears street clothes.
For a St. Patrick's Day Mass, Meehan wore a handwoven Guatemalan stole over her chasuble as she greeted a half-dozen parishioners. Every one of them was Irish and wearing the green in honor of the occasion.
Meehan's father was ready with trumpet and saxophone to supplement recorded music.
Worshippers took their seats in an assortment of chairs brought in from other rooms as Meehan sat on a pastel-striped sofa. In place of a sermon, Meehan gave a "reflection" on the Gospel reading, which that day had been the story of the prodigal son.
The story is a metaphor in which God ran toward his children, "embraced us, kissed us," she said. "We can't put God in a box."
After the service, Helen Duffy said she embraces Meehan as her priest."Because I am now a common-sense Catholic, it just made sense to me," said Duffy, who came with her husband, Jack. "The several Saturday evenings we have been able to attend have been truly blessed experiences," said Jack Duffy. "We could all really sense that Jesus was there with us."
For Bishop Fresen, it's people like the Duffys who will serve as the tipping point for changing women's roles in the Catholic Church."I believe that the groundswell of opinion among the people, who are the church, will eventually become a tidal wave, a tsunami, that will overwhelm the prevailing hierarchical sexist attitudes in the church," said Fresen.
Closer To The Heart Of Christ
For Meehan and her small flock, moving away from the large, institutionalized church is essential to the survival of Roman Catholicism.
"I don't think Jesus Christ would recognize the institutional church today from what he founded," said Meehan. "I think actually doing the house church, humble as it seems, is closer to the heart of Christ than the kind of structure that we have today with all its power and glory and prestige."
Rather than be part of the hierarchy, Meehan sees herself as an essential part of the community."I've gotten to be just wrapped up in the community, as a member, an equal member of a dynamic, Catholic, vibrant community, fully aware of their gifts and fully empowered to serve," she said.
"One of the big changes we have to move from is the hierarchical, top-down (-style) to the circle of equals -- equally gifted, with diverse gifts to serve the community. We see ourselves ministering within a community of equals. We need that kind of church reform and renewal, and I think that will be a big help to the church to transform it."
But what to make of the fact that she has yet to get her walking papers from Pope Benedict XVI?
"This is what I see: Pope Benedict is sending, maybe, a signal that he's not going to go and ordain women. However, he is favorable to women's leadership in the church," she said. "I don't think we're going to be formally excommunicated."
Telephone calls to the Diocese of Venice were not returned.
As for her own faith journey, the challenges have served only to deepen her faith.
"I do not know where Christ is leading us, but I'm called to a deeper trust that truly this new movement, this new priesthood, is in the hands of Christ and is guided by the Spirit," she said, "even though I don't see the end vision or the end product. I've got to trust more, and walk on water with Christ. That is the call."
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