I CAN reflect on the documentary The Turbulent Priest from a safe distance now.I have replied to all of the 1200 people who contacted me by text, e-mail and letter.
I have rarely been involved in anything which had almost unanimous support - with as little as half a dozen viewers expressing strong disagreement.
As Mary McAleese repeatedly points out, there is an educated and concerned laity who love the church and who are as dedicated to it, as any priest, Bishop or canon lawyer and the Church has not yet learned how to cope with them.
Since the programme was broadcast, I read again the magnificent address given at the opening of the Second Vatican on October 11, 1962 by Pope John XXIII. His inspired words refreshed my memory.
The Council was a unique, graced time which changed the direction of the Catholic Church in a powerful way - if only the people in the Vatican had accepted Pope John's vision.
Pope John, in spelling out the purpose of the Council, expressed the hope that Vatican II would bless our church with new spiritual insights so that the church might "look to the future without fear."
Hounded
If the faithful people could exercise the freedom Pope John initiated, there would be no need for sad documentaries. At the time, the Pope himself was hounded by the Vatican Civil Service.
John XXIII despised the unnamed officials who had a negative and pessimistic view of the world and of the Church - and he didn't spare them.
"In the daily exercise of our pastoral office, we sometimes have to listen, much to our regret, to voices of persons who, though burning with zeal, are not endowed with too much of discretion or measure," he said.
Such statements today could have him on the censor's list. He referred to the curial officials as prophets of gloom always forecasting disasters. It's hard to believe that the Pope had to suffer so much at the hands of the clerical civil service. Yet it is comforting to hear his straight talking on the opening day of the Council.
He went on to express his own optimistic image of the future church. "In the present order of things, Divine Providence is leading us to a new order of human relations... which are directed toward the fulfilment of God's inscrutable designs. Everything, even human differences, leads us to the greater good of the Church."
Those are the words of a confident open, humble pope who trusted the power of God's Spirit.
He was careful to safeguard the Deposit of Faith, but insisted that it was just as important to examine how the Deposit of Faith is communicated.
He stated that the magisterium's role is to make the Faith both known and reasonable for each new generation. Even more importantly, the teaching must be "predominantly pastoral in character."
Errors
It is refreshing just to read his words.
That is precisely what so many are striving to do in today's church and in doing so find themselves hounded and threatened with expulsion from the active priesthood.
Pope John admitted that because we are human, errors come and go "like the fog before the sun."
The Church in the past, he went on, opposed errors with the greatest severity, but "nowadays the spouse of Christ (the church) prefers to make use of the medicine of mercy rather than of severity...she meets the needs of the present day by demonstrating the validity of her teaching rather than by condemnations."
What a beautiful expression of compassion.
Charity is at the centre of all renewal because nothing is as effective in "eradicating the seeds of discord, nothing more efficacious in promoting concord, just peace and the unity of all," John concluded.
For Pope John XXIII the spirit of the Vatican II Church was shot through with hope.
In his church Providence would banish fear and pessimism.
His opening address to the Council left us with a vision for the future: "This council now beginning rises in the Church like daybreak...It is now only dawn."
That's the vision which gave my generation hope.
I still believe that if we followed Pope John's advice, we could still be proud of our church.