Edible bras made of sugar candy, tingling massage oils and saucy but “blessed” books on sex for married couples – these are just some of the items available from a Polish online retailer that aims to spice up Catholic marriages.
The Marital Alcove (alkowamalzenska.pl), which was launched more than a year ago, aims to “develop and enrich marriages.”
It has quickly grown in popularity in a country known for its conservatism and has challenged stereotypes common within the Roman Catholic Church that sexual pleasure is something shameful.
Marriage is the “most suitable environment for developing sexuality,” Izabela Kwiatkowska, who runs the website with her husband, told dpa. The bestselling toys are glow-in-the-dark dice that tell partners where to kiss and caress each other.
“We don’t want to focus only on gadgets,” Kwiatkowska says. “We want to really concentrate on building bonds in a marriage. That’s why the books on theology of the body are so important.”
The website, designed tastefully in whites and pastels, was not aimed “at being popular, but at helping others,” Kwiatkowska says.
The recent surge of interest in Catholic sexuality was sparked by two sex guides written for married couples by Polish priest Ksawery Knotz.
Knotz’s books Sex As You Don’t Know It (2009) and Sex Is Divine (2010) have helped create a demand for websites like Marital Alcove, and shaken up stereotypes that marital sex has to be dull and joyless.
“Does Christianity have to be sad and ugly?” Knotz asks on his Facebook page, where he has some 1,600 fans, in a post about beautifying the bedroom with perfume and fancy bedsheets.
The celibate priest, who lives in a monastery near Krakow, said his advice was based on his experiences counseling married couples.
The Catholic Church has not shied away from the topics of sexuality and love, according to Knotz, since both Polish-born Pope John Paul II and his successor Benedict XVI have written on the subjects.
There are “many beautiful descriptions that are little known” in the church relating to sexuality that need to be spread, Knotz told dpa.
“There are many stereotypes,” he says, “like that human love is forbidden, that sexual pleasure is somehow bad and does not come from God, or that the Church only supports childbirth and doesn’t recognize the experience of feeling oneness with one’s partner.”
Knotz’ books, approved by Polish church officials, argue that marital sex should be “saucy, surprising and fantasy-packed.”
But in line with the church’s views, the books discourage the use of contraception, including condoms.
Knotz’s latest book, Sex is Divine, is currently a bestseller on the Marital Alcove website.
The Franciscan argues that sex should be based on commitment, and can bring a couple closer to God.
“Love that is lasting, faithful and life-giving – that is God’s love. To love is something more than to fall in love, then cheat on each other or divorce,” Knotz says.
“There is a different kind of love that the world today no longer recognizes and doesn’t believe can last longer than a decade,” he said.
“We ourselves are constantly learning,” Kwiatkowska adds. “How to develop our marriage, how to become a more loving couple through mutual prayer, being together as a family, being affectionate and giving with our bodies.”