When Joe Pietrus’ son told him he was gay, Pietrus found himself in the position his son had been for years: in the closet.
“I am gay, and God doesn’t love me anymore,” Pietrus’ son told him.
Pietrus, a devout Catholic, didn’t know how to react, and didn’t
acknowledge that his son was gay for a long time.
“That’s not pretty. And it wasn’t the right thing to do,” Pietrus said. “I don’t want any parent to do what I did.”
Today, Pietrus heads up Always Our Children, a support program for gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and their loved ones at St.
Francis of Assisi Roman Catholic Church in Raleigh, N.C.
He spoke on April 18 at “Food for Thought: Finding the intersection
between the LGBTQ and Catholic communities,” a discussion hosted by the
University of North Carolina's Newman Catholic Student Center.
The support group’s message is that you cannot be unbaptized: Your
gifts are valued and you are welcome in the Catholic community
regardless of your sexual orientation, as expressed in the 1998 U.S.
bishops pastoral letter for which the support group is named.
The 1998 pastoral letter says, “Generally, homosexual orientation is
experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen. By itself,
therefore, a homosexual orientation cannot be considered sinful, for
morality presumes the freedom to choose.” Its basis is the doctrine of
human dignity, which says that every human life has inherent value.
“Homosexual people are created by God, loved by God, and should be
honored and respected,” Rev. Monsignor John Wall from the Newman Center
said.
St. Francis of Assisi acknowledges this more than other churches. In
addition to hosting All Our Children, the church has had an active LGBTQ
ministry for more than a decade.
Cathy Dodlinger, an active member of St. Francis, has been with her partner, Jane, for 20 years.
“If I had to leave the Catholic Church, it would have to be the saddest
moment of my life,” she said. But it’s still not easy to be Catholic
and gay (or Catholic and progressive).
Recently, Dodlinger went to another parish where a priest gave “a nasty homily” condemning homosexuality.
And although the Catholic church welcomes homosexuals as they are, it
still says it’s against church teaching for LGBTQ people to have sex, in
large part because Catholics shouldn’t have sex before marriage. The
answer to this problem seems pretty obvious, but Catholic bishops have
hardly been at the forefront of the fight for marriage equality.
Last
year, bishops of both North Carolina dioceses came out in support of
Amendment One, which put a ban against gay marriage and domestic
partnerships in the North Carolina constitution.
So the Catholic Church is hardly a leader in LGBTQ rights, and more of a reflection of progress made by society as a whole.
But considering its mammoth worldwide membership, that’s something.
Students at the event had mixed reactions to Pietrus and Dodlinger’s message. One student spoke about a beloved gay uncle.
“I can’t tell him his past homosexual lifestyle is right,” he said. But
later, after hearing Pietrus talk more he changed his mind. “Who the
hell am I to judge anyone else?”
This article originally
appeared in Campus BluePrint a student publication at the University of
North Carolina that receives funding and training as a member of the Campus Progress journalism network.