I write this message today to all of you as a concerned person and priest who has been privy to the aftermath of a few suicides in this country.Over the last few days, in the media we have all become aware of this issue in a way never experienced before, but that does not mean for a minute that it has not happened before this.
Each and every year in Ireland, on average 450 people take their own lives and Ireland ranks 5th. in Europe with the most vulnerable age group between 15 and 25.
Therefore the amount of people who commit suicide here is actual more than that killed on the roads and not a day goes by in this country when we do not hear the Government telling us all to slow down and be responsible on the roads. Yet we have not heard them launching a task group or advertising campaign or otherwise in relation to tackling the whole stigma of suicide.
In the past few days, 2 young men met through a website and met to commit suicide and in Northern Ireland, another similar tragedy has happened there and in the Clare area, 3 members of the travelling community also felt the same in relation to life.
Bishop Willie Walsh has now felt it is time to hold a special service which is to be held this Thursday for the travelling community so as to provide a spiritual nourishment and laudable as that is, for him to then ransom the settled community as a reason as to why these suicides may have taken place is being far than being more than disingenuous.
Suicide is a very serious issue and the blame game will not help and rather more serious reflection of society as a whole and not in a piecemeal fashion is what is required.
I firmly believe that we will have a lost generation in this country and this is coming to pass already in the shape of drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity and licentiousness and boy racers....all an attempt by our young people to find a way to fit into an ever changing society.
Ireland has experienced a boom economic time over the last 10 years or so, and many people have been carried by the rising tide but not everyone and now we see that those people are our young people. We have sacrificed family life and time to earn the almighty euro and the price being paid is that of our young people.
Society has forgotten the basis on which it it built - inclusion!!!
A young person may become distant and feel they are better off on their own and outwardly may seem somewhat fine but within there is a sense of having no worth or value in the rat race society in which we now seem to live.
Their own self worth takes a battering and this is internal but let us not forget there is also bullying and not just in schools but also within families, college and the workplace and all this further contributes to the persons well being or otherwise.
The pressure to have a partner in love may also be an issue and especially if the young person thinks/feels/knows they may be gay which also brings societal pressures to add to those already surrounding them.
Drinking can also feed into the issue as people actually forget that alcohol is a drug in its own right which even though gives an initial high and warm feeling of all being well, it does have serious side effects - the hangover aside it also causes the onset of depression.
Drugs, depending on how much and how often they are taken can also cause serious problems and in themselves are responsible for many deaths but when taken by someone already contemplating suicide and also drinking can be indeed fatal.
A person feeling their life is better off over than living feels so down, worthless and useless, that life is not really for them and in many ways their thinking can indeed be for the want of a better term, warped.
However, for them, this is what they consider to be right and given their frame of mind, to them is and is theirs to deal with but external help is required and that is where we as a society are called to act.
We, as a community and a society have a responsibility for and towards each other yet we have shirked it over the last few years in lieu of our own happiness and damn everyone else - but we better be careful what we wish for because that very attitude has carried a price.
450 innocent lives needlessly lost every single year and yet it is not a national scandal because if it were, it would oblige us all to reflect on ourselves and it may make us uncomfortable to do so as we are all fine here thanks and don't be interrupting our happy lives.
In all good conscience, how will we answer to Our Lord God for this attitude and explain to Him that due to our own needs we neglected others?
How many parents speak with their children - of all ages - and see how they are getting on with their lives? Is there something going on they want to talk about? Is it possible for your children to talk to you about anything?
As clergy, we also have to accept our responsibilities and be as open to you when you come to us and be more open minded to the reality of that we call life and not be reclusive inside closed doors. I may not know how you feel when you say it to me but I guarantee you that I will do as best I can to understand and if I do not, I will ask you.
I have a responsibility to you and yes there are times when I close the door after speaking and listening that I sense have I done enough and what more can I possibly do for you.
I am only human and I do experience the loneliness and let me tell you all it is not a nice feeling but I know that you are all out there but do your loved ones know that too?
Generally, as a society, we are responsible for one another but we must admit that we have been lacking in this area and we need to start taking more responsibility so as to become more aware of our youth and indeed ourselves.
We have so much to learn from our youth but if we allow matters to continue as they are, then we will lose them and forever we will regret it. Let us do something about it now while we have them around us and not us around them when they are laid out in the funeral home or at their funeral mass.
Once we accept that we can and must do something, then perhaps we can bring some form of comfort to those contemplating suicide and yet we must also accept the sad fact that if someone truly wishes to do so, they will despite our best efforts and we must understand that for them, that is their way of saying 'here wasn't for me but I will see you all again soon and know that your pain was also mine. I could not carry it there but can help you carry it from here. Do not hate me but love me as I do you.'
We must keep in our prayers and thoughts those who have been saddened by the death of a beloved one by suicide and indeed the community and friends left behind....let us keep them with us and let them be the reason why we must do everything we possibly can to make sure that we do not become them in time.
On this blog I have posted under the heading of Suicide Awareness & Support Services some links to organisations in Ireland which may be of use to you, whether contemplating or supporting and ask you to please please do note the information.
A special word to those of you who are contemplating suicide - where you are right now feels for you to be the only place you can be, but do understand that you are not on your own and help is available. Sometimes it can be hard to seek it but once you do, things can change for the better.
However, if you feel that it be best for you to no longer be here, may I say this to you - I am sorry that you feel the way you do and if I have failed you in any way, again I am sorry. I seek your forgiveness but be assured that even though I do not know your name, I will pray for you and ask that when you meet Our Heavenly Father, you will do likewise for me.
Parents, talk to your child(ren) and learn what life means for them and knowing that some decisions have to be made in relation to discipline, let us not forget that we were them once.
To all, my door is open, but most importantly, so also are my ears and my heart and whatever way I can help I will. Email me in confidence (clericalwhispers@gmail.com) and just leave a name number and where in Ireland you are and I will help in any and every way I possibly can.
I am as much a sheep as I am a shepherd, and our souls are as important as each others and so it also is with our lives. I am responsible for you and will do what I can...just let me know how!!
Let us never judge but be always open and loving, and this prayer we offer to Our Lord. Amen
Sotto Voce