In many ways, the project I set out with has failed, but why?
Simply because the Pope has yet to speak about us, his priests’ children. Despite repeated attempts at encouraging openness on behalf of the Holy See toward us, we, their own children, remain, an embarrassment to them, and I, an irritant, to them. So in this regard, the church has failed us, their children, yet again. It seems they haven’t the courage to face us, referring to us as “mistakes” and “dirty laundry.”
In excess of 200,000 people have come to Coping since its inception and many positive things have happened across the 10 years including the establishment of the Irish guidelines, discovery of the secret Vatican guidelines for priests not to mention the countless people who have been helped out of darkness, saved from suicide and taken away from homelessness.
However, a recent development which will be pursued in 2025, God willing, is news that came my way only recently. While it is widely known about priests’ children guidelines which were made known five years ago, what is not known about are the internal Vatican Guidelines for children of bishops that allow for payment for the education of up to three children of any one bishop.
These guidelines have not been acknowledged yet, why? If a priest fathers a child, then he leaves and the scandal is minimised and he is told to go and reflect (which in reality is a period of indefinite suspension.)
However, what if a bishop fathers a child, let alone three? This is a different level of scandal and thus the fallout from this needs to be minimised, thus, provide for the children and everyone remains quiet and the bishop remains in situ.
I have been banging this drum for a decade and people have grown weary and tired of my voice, droning on about the same thing, never giving up. However, what they are not growing tired of is having sex.
Priests continue to have sexual relations and babies are being born and sadly sometimes aborted, to this day. There are bishops and archbishops with children not to mention cardinals who are biological fathers. One cardinal, I recollect, was particularly clueless, illustrating the detachment which the church has toward this phenomenon.
The common theme that runs throughout all the cases that have come to Coping over the past decade is greed. Greed on behalf of the parish, the diocese or order, the Vatican, greed for power and to not lose a priest, greed for appearances being acceptable, greed for avoidance of scandal and always at the cost of an infant, there is something terribly evil about this.
The impact of Coping upon me is worthy of note also. It has been a horrendously difficult uphill climb, battling against the institution of the church. Men who obstinately refuse to acknowledge the phenomenon of children of clergy as an issue, let alone give someone a helping hand, to deal with such people is hard.
Early last year, after a lot of hospitalisations, I was unfortunately diagnosed with a very rare brain disorder, auditory processing disorder. I do blame the stress in part as a contributory factor in the progression of this neurodegenerative disorder which will worsen as the years progress as dealing with these means is often like pulling hens’ teeth as the saying goes.
Equally, we are a charity and the church now makes excuses and refuses to donate to the charity, leaving me to pick up the pieces. So, financially unsuccessful and a ministry that has impacted me neurologically, then why continue? I continue because I am convinced that if we stay the course, this will come right. I often feel like I am playing a big game of poker with the Vatican, they are waiting for me to fold and leave and yet, I won’t because I know they are wrong, in not caring for the children of the ordained and I believe it angers God.
So, has the past decade been a success? I say yes, absolutely, the negatives are the scars and wounds we have incurred from this inglorious battle. The wounds are unimportant, they will heal in God’s time, what is important is that we are still standing, still here, still witnessing to the absolute truth that Coping stands for, for children to be freed from psychological imprisonment.
God willing we will be able to publish the guidelines concerning bishops’ children, different from priests’ children guidelines, if and when the Vatican agree to reveal them.
We are an embarrassment to them and we will continue to be until they treat us with the respect we deserve and on that day we will no longer be enemies but father and child united under an approving Pope.
Happy New Year.