Friday, May 22, 2009

Occasional kind words bolstered children in brutal landscape

STAFF WHO “did not hit” and who spoke kindly to children or called them by their first names rather than by a number or surname were recalled warmly by some former residents.

In the five-volume report’s 11-page section devoted to positive memories and experiences, the commission notes that 284 witnesses recounted the kindness of individual religious and lay staff, in evidence to the confidential committee.

The description most often reported was the absence of physical abuse, with “he did not hit” or “she didn’t hit girls or scream at them” being typical of remarks by witnesses regarding kind members of the staff.

Other acts of kindness experienced included being given extra food, being spoken to kindly, shown affection, having a blind eye turned to behaviour others would report and being called by one’s first name rather than by a number or surname.

Witnesses also reported that kind religious staff offered protection by assigning them chores in areas where they were less likely to be hit, and rescued them from beatings by other staff.

Kindness was generally demonstrated in private, and words of encouragement and praise were remembered warmly by witnesses as rare examples – usually associated with particular named staff members.

“One Brother was kind and used to give me a bit of a boost. When playing football he’d say ‘You’re good’,” one former resident said.

Witnesses discharged since the mid-1970s more frequently commented on having positive experiences during their stay in schools.

For some, contact with the local community was fondly recalled, with their involvement in feiseanna ceoil and sporting competitions, choir practice and seaside holidays identified as ways of seeing the world outside the institution.

Others recalled the kindness of local people, including shopkeepers who would give the children sweets or ice-cream.

One witness said that when one of the Sisters sent her to the local shop to get a dozen new canes, the shopkeeper broke the canes on his knee in front of her and told her to tell the Sisters he had none left.

Work often provided a welcome respite.

A number of men described farm work as a sanctuary, or as a place of safety “away from the battering” that also provided access to extra food.

Three former residents who had early unplanned pregnancies reported being given shelter and support by the schools while their babies were young, while others said they had been helped in their search for work after being discharged.

The importance of friendships with other residents was also highlighted, and many described the enormous sense of loss they experienced when the manner of their discharge meant they could not say goodbye to their closest confidantes.

“That is my real tragedy, it haunts me to this day,” said one witness.
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