In 1978, Joan Rivers made “Rabbit Test,” a movie about the world’s
first pregnant man.
In his first movie role, Billy Crystal played the
lead and Imogene Coca, George Gobel and Paul Lynde wandered through in
cameo roles.
The movie was panned as visually coarse, too jokey, and
lacking continuity.
The critics complained that Miss Rivers never even
bothered to reveal how Crystal’s character got pregnant.
Apparently her
plot point explanation that he was a bottom was not enough for them.
Gays in theaters everywhere must have been blowing popcorn out their
noses.
The scene with the pope is my personal favorite. Stock footage of the
cheering throngs in Vatican Square.
Camera pans in on the tiny white
figure of the Pope waving from his balcony.
Quick cut to the room behind
the balcony, where a young cleric is crouching behind the railing
laboriously waving a large, cardboard cutout of the Pope slowly back and
forth.
Soundtrack of the roaring assembled crowd below.
In the room off the balcony, the actual Pope is having a mani-pedi.
At the end of the pedi, he asks for his Ah-di-das. Accent on the Ah.
More than a pregnant man, that little transgressive scene laid me out.
Once again a transgressive papal scene has knocked me out.
This time
it’s a very real, newly installed Pope Francis I. No red Prada pumps for
him. No mani-pedi for him. He washes and kisses the feet of the poor.
My recovering Catholic friends and I have been marveling for days.
When asked about gay priests searching for Jesus in their hearts,
Pope Francis responded, “Who am I to judge?” It sounded like “BTDT, been
there, done that.” Wait, did he just come out?
In a long interview, Pope Francis said that the church must not be so
obsessed with gays, gay marriage and birth control. He said pastoral
duties must trump the fixation on such dogma.
He takes selfies!
He has eschewed the Popemobile for a Fiat and
encouraged people to buy less expensive used cars, making him very
popular with the used car salesman faction.
Sidebar: Has the retired Pope, Ex-Benedict heard the news on his
little radio in the renovated mother-in-law cottage out behind the
Vatican? And is he steamed?
What will be the effect, if any, of Francis’ shift in tone?
Selfishly, if this keeps up, it means about 15 fewer minutes devoted to
papal outrages per show.
I will offer it up.
After the Pope’s interview, U.S. clergy must have been up
all night re-working their Sunday morning sermons.
Cardinal Dolan of New
York, the jovially dangerous president of the U.S. Conference of
Catholic Bishops, outspoken critic of gay marriage initiatives and
federal funds for contraceptives, said it was a “magnificent” interview.
Less cheerily he concluded that bound as Pope Francis is by the
timeless doctrine of the church, his words really won’t change church
doctrine or policy.
As someone who has lived through popes Pius XII, John XXIII, John
Paul and Benedict, this new Jesuit Pope Francis is a stunning surprise.
Yet because of my personal history and lived experience, I find myself
waiting for the other Adida to drop.
I hope this Pope is not just
Vaticannily rebranding Catholicism to a ‘kinder, gentler Catholic
Church.’
The Pope has established a group of eight advisers and has
signaled that he wants to shake up the Vatican hierarchy, but the proof
is in the poping.
We will be the judge.
Also, I would recommend the Pope have a food taster on standby in his cafeteria.