Wednesday, February 15, 2012

No "good divorce" for children, study says

There is no such thing as a good divorce when children are involved, according to a new US study.  

The research, an analysis of almost 1,000 families, found that children suffer when their parents’ marriage ends, no matter how amicable the split, the Daily Mail reports.  

It backs up the finding of a UK opinion poll conducted in 2008 that showed that the top wish children had was to make divorce illegal.  

It found that children under 10 rated divorce as the worst thing in the world.

The new study's finding contradicts the widely-held belief that it is possible to have a ‘good divorce’ in which the children and adults emerge relatively unscathed, the researchers said.

They called on marriage counsellors to make greater efforts to save marriages in distress and said that divorcing parents need to do more to protect their children from the fallout.

The research team began by comparing the welfare of children whose parents had divorced with those whose marriages were strong.  Those from broken homes scored more poorly.  

They then zoomed in on almost 944 families from around the US that had been through a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship.

The families were divided into three groups:
  • Co-operative parents shared childcare, still got on well with each other and rarely fought, fitting the criteria of a ‘good divorce’
  • Parallel parents shared childcare but rarely spoke to each other
  • The third group was described as single parent families because the absent parent had little or no contact with their child.
The parents were interviewed while the children were teenagers and the children interviewed when they became adults.  

All three groups gave similar answers, debunking the idea of it being possible to have a good divorce, the study, published in the journal Family Relations, reported.

While in their teens, those with co-operative parents had fewer behaviour problems than other youngsters from broken homes.  However, they did no better than the others in terms of self-esteem, satisfaction with life and school or experimentation with cigarettes, drugs and alcohol.

And those with cooperative parents scored school marks that were worse than those whose parents had no contact with each other.  

As young adults, those from a ‘good divorce’ were just as likely to have under-age sex and be promiscuous as those whose parents led entirely separate lives.

Similar results were obtained for children whose parents had co-habited before splitting up and those who had been married and divorced. 

The Pennsylvania State University researchers said that overall the results provide, “only modest support,” for the good divorce hypothesis.  

They said that previous studies that have backed the idea may not have been as thorough as theirs.

It is also possible that the idea of a ‘good divorce’ caught on because people simply wanted it to be true.

Researcher Paul Amato, a professor of family sociology, said divorcing parents should be given more advice on how to help their children adapt to the sudden change in circumstances.  

And he called on marriage counsellors to do more to save marriages that have not irretrievably broken down.

He concluded, “Not all children with divorced parents experience long-term problems. But people’s willingness to accept the good divorce hypothesis is reason for concern if some parents are lulled into believing that their children are adequately protected from all the potential risks of union disruption.”

Norman Wells, of the Family Education Trust, said, “The authors of this study are to be applauded for having the courage to honestly examine the evidence on such a sensitive issue. Many parents make sterling efforts to mitigate the damaging consequences of family breakdown for their children, but they can never be eliminated altogether. We have not taken seriously enough the extent to which children are affected when their parents separate.  Although divorce rates in the UK have declined in recent years, family breakdown is affecting growing numbers of families as a result of the rise in cohabitation and births outside marriage. Co-habiting relationships are much less stable than marriages and even more so when children are involved.  The importance for children of the life-long marriage of their parents cannot be overestimated.”

He went on, “Far too often separation and divorce are presented as quick-fix solutions without thinking through the longer-term implications.”