Thursday, January 26, 2012

Why more people are saying 'I do' to a church wedding (Comment)

The news that the number of church weddings increased in 2010, even while the total number of marriages continues to decrease, will hopefully go some way to restoring faith (literally) in the institution of marriage. 

Have engaged couples suddenly found God again? 

They may well have, but there are probably a few different factors at work.

The question of where to have your wedding used to be simple, but over 18 years it has resulted in a wide variety of answers. 

In 1994, the Marriage Act changed the wedding market forever, granting licences for civil marriages to venues as disparate as Manchester United's Old Trafford football stadium, Blenheim Palace and the London Eye. 

It opened up choice for couples who previously would have had to opt for either a church or register office ceremony.

Even those who may have preferred a church ceremony sometimes found it tricky. You could only be married in your own parish and, with so many couples already living together some distance from where they grew up, the chances of being allowed to go "home" to marry in the church where your parents or grandparents wed were slim to say the least. 

Regular church attendance was often carefully monitored, too – some vicars would stipulate that you had to attend services for two weeks out of every four – and for some couples it was simply all too complicated.

The result was that fewer and fewer couples decided to marry in church, choosing instead to exchange vows in a stately home, or a smart hotel. They could say "I do" and then smoothly move on to the reception in the next room. Over the years, more and more venues have become licensed, offering an often confusing choice for brides- and grooms-to-be. And the trend seemed set to continue, until now that is.

In difficult times – and this ongoing recession definitely qualifies – people often feel reassured by traditional institutions. It's comforting to know that the church is still there when you need it, even if you haven't always been there. 

Life's important landmarks – weddings, christenings and funerals – somehow seem much more significant when celebrated in church.

I wouldn't say that I'm overly devout. Unlike my Irish Catholic grandmother, I don't have holders for holy water on the wall inside the front door, and I definitely don't have statues of the Holy Trinity in my bedroom. 

I did, however, have a church wedding when I got married 20 years ago. I loved the atmosphere, the wedding service itself, the hymns, Ave Maria being played while we were signing the register. 

The whole occasion felt suitably solemn, and joyful. It wasn't our local church, but one that both my husband and I felt a great affinity for, and we did attend church regularly. We carried on going to services after the wedding, until we moved house.

Declining numbers of church weddings, and general attendance, were obviously serious enough for the Church of England to relax its rules on where you could marry in 2008. Now you can be married in a church if you can prove a family link – ie, your parents or grandparents tied the knot there – or if you have lived in the parish for six months. 

This, coupled with a higher profile for the Church of England via a new website and a more visible presence at wedding shows, has definitely had an impact on where couples choose to marry. 

People are being reminded about what it means to have a celebration in church. And the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton didn't do it any harm. 

Only time will tell whether the 4% increase is merely a temporary blip, or the start of a whole new love affair with church weddings.