A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Paddy shouts 'Na ol an t-uisce, ta sé lan de chac bo' (Don't drink the water, it's full of cowsh * t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Paddy shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'