Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Rise of the humanist wedding

IT used to be that a church or register office were the only choices when deciding how to marry.

But latest figures show more and more couples have opted for humanist weddings since they were granted legal status in 2005.

They are now the fourth most popular way of tying the knot outside a register office, says the General Registrer Office of Scotland.

The Humanist Society of Scotland married 710 couples last year, up from 434 in 2006.

The figures come as no surprise to humanist celebrant Juliet Wilson.

The 33-year-old, from Edinburgh, became interested in the secular philosophy when planning her 2005 humanist wedding to husband Tim.

Now they both conduct humanist weddings, funerals and naming ceremonies.

Juliet said: "What attracted me towards humanism is that you work out your morality for yourself rather than being told what to believe in.

"Humanism is a positive life stance. We can live worthwhile lives without religion or superstition.

"One of our slogans is, 'We're a' Jock Tamson's bairns.' We're all the same under the skin and humanists value all people equally.

"Humanists would generally be atheist or agnostic, but being a humanist is more than that.

"Humanists would never be racist or sexist or homophobic or ageist or anything like that.

"A humanist respects all people regardless of creed, colour, gender, sexuality, race or class.

"It's about equality and equal opportunities for everybody."

Scotland is one of only six nations in the world where humanist weddings have the same legal status as civil and religious weddings.

Karen Watts, 29, and Martin Reijns, 27, had the UK's first legal humanist marriage in June 2005, in Edinburgh.

Legal changes had recently allowed sanctioned celebrants other than clergymen or registrars to conduct weddings.

Until then, non-religious services had required a second, civil ceremony to make it legal.

Since then, traditional religious weddings have suffered.

Roman Catholic services have fallen three per cent, while Church of Scotland ones are 13 per cent down.

Juliet said: "I can't tell a couple why they are getting married or why they ought to get married as everyone has different reasons.

"It has to come from the couple. The emotional side of marriage is very much up to them and what they think it's about.

"The advantage for many couples is that they don't have to have something expressed in the ceremony which they don't feel is right or important to them."

Another draw couples see in humanist weddings over those conducted by a registrar is that the venue doesn't have to be licensed.

THE ceremony can take place anywhere deemed "safe and decent".

Juliet added: "Couples can get married anywhere - by lochsides, in woodlands, wherever you want.

"Sometimes, an ordnance survey grid reference has to be put on to the paperwork.

"We also do country house hotel weddings, garden weddings and weddings in people's living rooms.

"It can be a real advantage as you can choose your venue to suit your personality.

"Some people want to splash out a lot of money on a wedding, but other people don't.

"Styles of weddings can also vary.

We do weddings that are very formal and others which are very relaxed.

"As celebrants, we try not to have our own agenda. We want couples to do what they want and to have their own ideas.

"The ceremony is very much in their tone, not ours.

"Things such as choices of music will reflect that. At one wedding, it might be a classical piece such as Pachelbel's Canon in D while, at the next, it might be rock band Steppenwolf."

As demand increases, Scotland's 68 humanist celebrants are busy.

Juliet said: "I'm doing about 50 weddings this year and I'm already taking bookings for next year.

"But it's a great way to spend your weekend. It's a real privilege and it's a lovely thing to do as you meet very different people of all ages.

"The youngest couple I've married were 18 and 19 while the oldest were in their 70s.

"Now we are trying to look at areas needing celebrants and find people in those areas.

"At the moment, we are looking to find celebrants in more remote areas, such as Skye and Orkney.

"The number of celebrants is increasing as our ceremonies become more well known.

"But it's important that we cater for everybody and are available, even in places where demand might not be as high. It's very important that we aren't turning people down."

If the number of takers continues to increase, humanist weddings are likely to outnumber Roman Catholic ones in Scotland by 2010.

Juliet added: "While getting married by a registrar is by far the most popular way to wed, I think we are getting some people coming to us for a ceremony that is a bit more personal.

"Although marriage is declining, I think a lot of people who want to get married will look to us.

"It's not simply that they are rejecting religion. They are looking for something that represents them better."

'They are set to outnumber Catholic weddings by 2010'
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